


Dear Killua,

by RosalineLevesque



Series: Of Gon x and x Killua [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, I'm still learning how these tags work, Love Confessions, M/M, Pffffffffff, Possible OOC-ness?, Post-Canon, Post-Chairman Election Arc, Post-Chimera Ant Arc, Reunions, Togashi?, Underage Drinking, Who else is going to give those two a happy endings?, i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-20 20:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalineLevesque/pseuds/RosalineLevesque
Summary: Dear Killua,Where are you?Friendly,Gon





	Dear Killua,

_Dear Killua,_

_What are you and Alluka up to? Is your adventure interesting?_

_I wish I was there. School is so boring and because of the time I've been away, they gave me a mountain of homework. Aunt Mito naggs at me to finish it, but whenever I get to math I remain stuck. It's hard.  
_

_Hey! Maybe next time we meet, you could help me!_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

  
_Dear Killua,_  
  
_You won't believe what happened! I was going to the lake, Aunt Mito had finally let me take a break, when I found...A foxbear cub!_  
  
_Seeing that he ( yes, it's a boy) was alone, I searched for his mother till night time, but no one showed up for him_  
  
_He is so small. I couldn't have left him in the wilderness without protection or shelter, so I took him home!_  
  
_Aunt Mito wasn't as excited as I was, luckily though my grandma likes him as much as I do._  
  
_I have a new friend._  
  
_I attached a photo of him, greet Killua Junior!_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

  
_Dear Killua,_  
  
_K.J ( Killua Junior ) and you are so alike, there's barely any difference._

_A few days ago, an old lady gave me a box of chocolate ( jealous? ) as thank you for helping with her shop._

_K.J ate it before we arrived home._

_You better be prepared when you visit!_

_Also, I'm sorry I didn't write lately. Mito hired a math tutor for me and the last couple of weeks I spent drowning in numbers and equations. She is a very strict teacher._

_Love,  
Gon_

* * *

  
_Dear Killua,_  
  
_You must be having a lot of fun if your hawk didn't come in so long._  
  
_Don't worry, I'm not mad, I'm happy you are happy._  
  
_News! K.J befriended my tutor and they get along well._  
_Her name is Akane and she is very nice, even though she scolds me a lot during our sessions. She is a year older than us and is staying on Whale Island for a short while._

_K.J likes her and because K.J resembles you, I think you will too._

_Salute Alluka for me!  
_

_Love,  
Gon_

* * *

  
_Dear Killua,_  
  
_I need you! Akane is due to leave in a week and before our last lesson was over she asked me if we could go on a date._  
  
_I agreed and since I haven't been on a date with a friend in nearly a year, I was excited._  
  
_Now however,...Aunt Mito sat me down and said that I'm a young man and should know what a date truly is._  
  
_She said that people go on dates when they feel a certain way about each other. I already knew it, but it didn't cross my mind that Akane could refer to that. I was sure she wanted to hang out as friends._  
  
_My fear is that I'll hurt her if I tell her I don't reciprocate, but it would be cruel to lead her on._

 _What should I do?_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon_

* * *

  
_Dear Killua,_  
  
_You're advice was right! Talking to her resolved everything._  
  
_She seemed a little upset when I explained the situation. Despite this, we promised to keep in touch, just as friends._  
  
_The "date" was great! I gave her a tour of the forest and she showed me this talent she has. She can roll her eyes hard enough that you won't be able to see the iris._  
  
_It sounds gross...and it is, but it's awesomely gross._  
  
_After that we stopped under a huge tree and talked more, she about the places she lived in, albeit shortly and I, in turn, about our adventures._  
  
_Silly me, I was about to forget. Akane said that I am "head over heels" for you. What does that mean? Is it a bad thing?_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

_Dear Killua,_  
  
_How are you? It's been some months and you haven't answered yet._  
  
_Akane's departure was sad. She cried. K.J was moody. And I was trying not to appear too down. Akane continued to cry as she said her goodbyes and embarked with her family, maybe I wasn't convincing enough._  
  
_I called Wing-san recently, regarding my Nen. He warned me it might be impossible to regain it, but I'm willing to give it a shot, I'm glad he is too._  
  
_Are you and Alluka doing fine? When I obtain my Nen ( again ), where do you want to go?_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

_Dear Killua,_  
  
_Leorio said you are alright and that you personally asked him to announce me._  
  
_I sighed in relief when I heard._  
  
_Couldn't you have written me directly? Going through all this trouble was unnecessary._  
  
_And speaking of Leorio, there's gonna be a party at his new apartment and he's inviting everyone, including us!_  
  
_This makes me feel giddy. And impatient too. Time passes too slowly. If I could, I would make it speed up so the day would come sooner._  
  
_Counting down the days, I'll be waiting!_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

_Dear Killua,_  
  
_You was there not. The party suuuch a blast...And Killua totally missed it._  
  
_Are you avoiding me? Mean Killua!_  
  
_I miss Killua._  
  
_Does Killua miss me too?_  
  
_Loave,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 

_Dear Killua,_

_I written an letter two sec ago, but I can't be mad!_  
  
_I loave Killua. This you know?_  
  
_Lots and lots and lots._  
  
_I didn't wanna separate, return please!_  
  
_Loave,_  
_Gon._

* * *

_Dear Killua,_  
  
_My drunken self surely is something. I should have listened to Kurapika and not have accepted that drinking contest, it made me act bizarre._  
  
_Apparently, I wrote some funny stuff during the time. Sorry, it was nothing, you can forget about it._  
  
_Friendly,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 

_Dear Killua,_

_Are you angry at me? Did I disgust you or freak you out?_  
  
_Please write back._  
  
_Friendly,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 

_Dear Killua,_

_Where are you?_  
  
_Friendly,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 

_Dear Killua,_

_I won't beat around the bush anymore. I lied. The letters did not mean "nothing"._  
  
_I love you Killua, possibly since I was twelve._  
  
_I realised it after I started training with Wing-san. Zushi and I were having a conversation and the topic somehow changed to crushes._  
  
_He was shy judging by his blush, but as he confessed about this girl he likes, it occured to me that those sensations reminded me of how I feel around you._  
  
_I immediately called Akane. She laughed at how long it took me to figure it out._  
  
_Guess, now I understand what "head over heels" means._  
  
_Friendly,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 

 _Dear Killua,_  
  
_Would you be embarrassed if I admitted you are the most important person in my life?_  
  
_Everyone I met would say I wear my heart out open and, yeah, they are right about it, but I can't help but wonder if that is the reason whenever I complimented you, your eyes would widen in disbelief, like you couldn't take it seriously, me showering you with praise._  
  
_But Killua,..._  
  
_You should know by now that I don't do anything half-heartedly._  
  
_You are amazing and stepping on the same road as you was the experience of a lifetime. It had it's bad moments, some I regret to this day, but nothing could ever surpass it, not meeting Ging, nothing._  
  
_Ging. He can be kind of...lazy? indifferent? ( Leorio suggested asshole ), but when we were on top of the World Tree he told me:_  
  
_"You should enjoy the little detours in life. To the fullest. Because that's where you 'll find the things more important that what you want."_  
  
_In the beginning, I was driven by curiosity. Why would Ging abandon me? Why being a Hunter is so special? I simply sought answers._  
  
_On the way I found you._  
  
_Killua, will you allow me to stay by your side?_  
  
_Love,_  
_Gon._

* * *

_Killua,_  
  
_Why did you hide this? Are you aware that Alluka is bawling her eyes out?_  
  
_You are a horrible brother! And best friend!_

 _You could have told someone! Leorio, Kurapika, Bisky, ~~me,~~ Wing-san; Anyone!_  
  
_Illumi can go to hell! He and the rest of your family! After the bullshit they pulled!_  
  
_I believe in you. I'm trusting you to hang on until I get there. Killua is the srongest person I know._  
  
_I swear, we are gonna explore the world together, like we promised we would that day on Whale Island. Remember?_  
  
_We will deifinitely see all sorts of places._  
  
_Pinky promise!_  
  
_See you soon,_  
_Gon._

* * *

 Darkness, numbness, cold.  
  
That's what he had known all his life in the secluded corner of the world he lived in.  
  
But one day a weak ray broke through. It was short and powerless against the dangers around and something Killua never expected to see.  
  
He grasped for it with all his might.  
  
"Freedom!", "Happiness!", "Affection!", the light offered that, more and Killua considered it oh so sadistic for taunting him with privileges he could not afford. Nevertheless, he chased after it. Hmm...perhaps it wasn't the light that was sadistic, maybe he was the masochist.  
  
Time flew by. Leaves altered their colour and fell on the ground not unlike many of his assignments.  
  
That ray? It finally evolved into a more powerful form. A boy, cut from the astral object itself with a smile to match.  
  
Killua indulged himself. He allowed himself a taste of what normality was. As normal as you could be during the toughest exam on the planet, surrounded by hundreds of deaths.  
  
Killua was taught not to. He shouldn't have desired, but he did.  
  
In his vision dominated by nothingness a place lit up.  
  
A cliff with the sunshine boy on it.  
  
"Freedom!"; "Affection!"; "Friendship!" rang in his ears for the first time in years. Not unattainable. All not so far away anylonger.  
  
Killua listened to Gon's giggles and pondered if it could become brighter.  
  
Eventually, it did. The ray multiplied till' it turned into a daybreak, colourful, painted over a horizon of "sins" in his family's perspective.  
  
Earthly represented by a caramel-eyed boy.  
  
Ah...Everything changed. Where was a pit of despair stood unparalleled hope.  
  
Seldom Killua wasn't capable to look at Gon. His shine reached an ethereal level of brilliance and he was painfully unworthy.  
  
The sun.  
  
Unbeknowst to him, doubts formed their roots, crawled their way into his heart.  
  
Could the sun burn out?  
  
It's clock ticked, stricking zero as a supernova conquered over it and in the end a black hole, absorbing Killua's everything.  
  
Pitch black returned.  
  
The boy shivered, shook his head in denial. No. No. No! It wasn't supposed to be like this! They should have- How did- Why- Gon-  
  
He woke up and took away all he gave Killua.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself in the middle of the night.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself during breakfast, his sister observing sadly and knowingly.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself when Gon's first letter arrived, trembling hands spelling messy words on a piece of paper, crumbled and forgotten next to the trashcan.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself as the saying "head over heels" stared back at him, daring him to ignore it.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself, processing drunk Gon's messages with pulse palpitating overjoyed and afraid.  
  
"I'm fine" he whispered to himself while sneaking out from Bisky's, lying a light kiss on Alluka's forehead and calculating his chances of being with her or him again.  
  
Killua was born and raised in the shadows.  
  
With Alluka's birth warmth and love appeared.  
  
At the age of twelve he stumbled upon the sun.  
  
From then to age thirteen he learnt to love someone unconditionally.  
  
At age fourteen he lost sight of the sun and met horror in raw shape instead.  
  
And two years later,...  
  
The sun was rising back up.  
  
Gon's eyes shimmered under dawn's gentle touch. They flashed with a mix of terror and solace and were filled with tears to the brim.  
  
The image stabbed and alleviated Killua at the same time, a bittersweet melancholy overwhelming his entire being. He struggled to gulp for air. Breathtaking, literally. It was also that, the cut off oxygen from his lungs indicated so.  
  
Well-built arms grabbed him in a hurried embrace and Killua was suddenly oversensitive. Attention concentrated on the boy in front of him, he instinctively dug his palms in Gon's back before squeezing gently. The other emanated comfort, however Killua sensed the tinge of uneasiness underneath.  
  
Something wet landed on his shirt and he guessed what it was without even lowering his gaze.  
  
Gon burried his head in Killua's shoulder, unfolding the droplets barricaded earlier. They fitted so...naturally against one another. The familiarity hit Killua and pushed him over the edge.  
  
His own set of tears spilled on Gon.  
  
Not long after his ears perked up. A cross between a snort and a sob slammed in his drums. He listened to Gon, trying and failing to articulate the storm of emotions they shared and he reacted with the same disgusting sound.  
  
Killua shifted, brought Gon closer and tightened his grip, a sign of encouragement for the other to calm down.  
  
Gon breathed deeply "K-Ki-" Inhale. Exhale. Rivers of tears. "Killu-Kill-" he hiccuped the name, butchered it to foreignness and Killua rubbed circles in the shaky frame "You- I- sor- sorry!"  
  
Killua leaned away, never taking his eyes off Gon's. He was doing it, he was going to say the words that balanced on the tip of his tounge days, months, years.  
  
The sentence dashed from his heart, tangled nervoulsy in his bobbing throat, twisted on his tounge and came out through a new wave of salty water on his lips.  
  
He sniffled. "I love you too!"  
  
Gon beamed with puffy red eyes, which flooded with unshackled happiness.  
  
Killua's mirrored his other half's.  
  
Their breaths mingled, creating a sweet scent of expectancy in the air. Neither wanted to move, too afraid the spell would break.  
  
Gazes fixated on lips,  
  
Brains thawing into pools of mush,  
  
Hearts pumping rapidly,  
  
_Stomachs contrasting,_  
  
_Blood sprinting,_  
  
_Heads dizzy,_  
  
_World spinning,_  
  
_Faces inches awa-_  
  
Mouths locked with an unaudiable _click_ , a display of frustration because of the years of waiting, time wasted and love concealed.  
  
They pressed deeper, dived ecstatically in. And both were set aflame under the other's touch.  
  
A galaxy.

* * *

 

 _Dear Gon,_  
  
_Thank you, for not giving up on me and insisting to be my friend. Your stubborness has it's advantages after all._  
  
_Without you, I would have never found out why life is precious and I wouldn't have the people around me today._  
  
_It sounds cheesy as hell and more like something you'd say, but I'm grateful to you, for meeting you and becoming a part of my life._  
  
_And most importantly,..._  
  
_I can't comprehend why or how, but thank you for falling in love with me._  
  
_Love,_  
_Killua._  
  
_P.S: You better write this thing too. I won't accept being the only one to make a romantic fool of himself. Especially in the old man's face, just 'cause of an absurd bet._

 _P.P.S: Don't make it too corny._  
  
_P.P.P.S: Who am I kidding? Of course you will!_  
  
_P.P.P.P.S: 1. Why do I love you anyway? And 2. K.J is eating my Chocorob stash. Ground him! Do SOMETHING_!

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, God! I'm really nervous about this, I hope I didn't make it too OOC.  
> Besides that, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, KUDOS AND COMMENTS are all welcomed  
> If you find any grammatical errors, please tell me. I wrote this largely on my phone, which has autocorrector, so it's possible I might have missed something.  
> Thank you for the support and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
